Spicy for Two

Dirty Would You Rather Questions: 40 New Dilemmas

Updated November 1, 2026

A dirty would you rather question has one job: to make your partner say “oh, that’s not fair” before they’ve even finished hearing it. The rude ones you’ll find elsewhere rarely manage this. Shock wears off in about four seconds, whereas a really awkward choice will keep you arguing long after.

These forty lean suggestive rather than graphic, because the interesting part happens in your own head. They’re also different from the ones in our would you rather game, so read these aloud first, then let the game continue when you run out.

Ridiculous ones, to get going

  1. Would you rather have to narrate your own undressing like a nature documentary, or like a car race?
  2. Would you rather only be able to flirt in rhyming couplets, or only in the third person?
  3. Would you rather have every kiss come with a loud sound effect, or a brief round of applause?
  4. Would you rather have a theme song that plays when you enter the bedroom, or a tiny spotlight that follows you around?
  5. Would you rather always have cold hands, or always get the hiccups at the worst moment?
  6. Would you rather get a sultry voice for one night, or perfect dance moves for one night?
  7. Would you rather have your partner rate each kiss out loud, or have a suggestion box by the bed?
  8. Would you rather have a bed that loudly announces your arrival, or a door that won’t stay shut?
  9. Would you rather lose your sense of rhythm, or your sense of direction, at a crucial moment?
  10. Would you rather have to end every romantic sentence with “as per my last email”, or start each one with “per our discussion”?

Flirty, with consequences

  1. Would you rather hear what your partner thought the first time they saw you naked, or what they thought last night?
  2. Would you rather be seduced with a homemade dinner, or with a very well-written letter?
  3. Would you rather be kissed only on the neck for a month, or never on the neck again?
  4. Would you rather spend a whole evening being looked at, or a whole evening being complimented?
  5. Would you rather be undressed by someone in no hurry at all, or someone in a tremendous hurry?
  6. Would you rather have your partner flirt with you all through a very long dinner, or get home to find them waiting at the door?
  7. Would you rather have a massage that goes on for hours, or a kiss that goes on for hours?
  8. Would you rather only touch with your hands for an evening, or only with your lips?
  9. Would you rather be told what you’re doing right as it’s happening, or get a detailed review the next morning?
  10. Would you rather pick out what your partner wears tomorrow, or what they take off tonight?

A little bolder

  1. Would you rather know your partner’s top three fantasies, or tell them yours?
  2. Would you rather have a whole night where you make all the decisions, or a whole night where you make none?
  3. Would you rather be blindfolded and kissed, or watch your partner while they’re blindfolded?
  4. Would you rather talk about what you want beforehand, or show them when the time comes?
  5. Would you rather try something new every month, or get really, really good at one thing?
  6. Would you rather get a yes to one big wish, or a yes to a hundred small ones?
  7. Would you rather be the one who’s always pursued, or the one who always gets to do the pursuing?
  8. Would you rather act out a scene in costume, or just lie in the dark and describe it?
  9. Would you rather have a mirror on the ceiling, or a mirror beside the bed?
  10. Would you rather be teased for an hour and then get what you want, or get what you want right away and then be teased?

Harder than they look

  1. Would you rather have your partner always guess what you want, or always ask?
  2. Would you rather be incredibly wanted once a year, or quite wanted every day?
  3. Would you rather give up lazy mornings together, or late nights together?
  4. Would you rather relive your best night together once, or have one night that’s even better but that you’ll never quite remember?
  5. Would you rather read your partner’s diary from your first month together, or have them read yours?
  6. Would you rather always say exactly what you want, or always get it without having to say it?
  7. Would you rather have no secrets from each other, or keep one fun one forever?
  8. Would you rather only be able to whisper in bed, or only be able to speak at full volume?
  9. Would you rather spend a year apart and have the reunion of your life, or never spend a night apart again?
  10. Would you rather keep playing this game, or put the phone down right now?

Getting more out of the answers

“Why that one?” is the follow-up that matters, so ask it every time, and sound as though you truly want to know. Question 22 is a good test case. Your partner’s choice between all the decisions and none tells you something about how they’ve been feeling lately, and they may not have known until you asked.

Play it as a contest if you want some edge. Count to three and answer at the same time. If you differ, each of you makes your case, briefly, and the winner picks the next question.

Remember that answers are hypothetical. Saying you’d pick the blindfold doesn’t sign you up for one, and your partner shouldn’t act as if it did. If you learned something intriguing, raise it some other time, gently: “You said something interesting about mirrors.” If one of you isn’t in the mood for a question, move on without any comment.

Writing your own

The best would you rather questions come with a real dilemma, so both options should be fun, or else both a bit awful. Make them personal when you can. “Would you rather redo our trip to the lake, or finally do the hotel we keep talking about?” is the kind of thing no list can give you.

When the dilemmas run out, never have I ever has the same silly energy but with stories attached, and truth or dare will ask you to act on what you’ve just learned.